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Re: Arrrrrg! Rant. How would you handle this?
By:Julie Kanarr
Date: 5/11/2001, 12:38 am

Time to establish some boundaries! Is your work set up such that it necessarily advertises your presence to your neighbor (e.g. working in garage with door open?) If you can safely work without advertising it, it's time to do so! It's also time to tell your neighbor, nicely but honestly, that you are not available to visit at this time, but that you will call him when you are available (and give him an estimate: "I can't visit now, but I'll call you in two hours when I'm done" or whatever.) State firmly that it is not safe for his little kid to be in your work area, so they will both need to leave now, but that you will call him when you are available. Then go back to sanding, ignoring him. If they're still standing there after a few minutes, state again that it is not safe for them to be in your work area without respirators, and that for their own safety, they need to go home, shower and change clothes because of the epoxy dust, and that you will call him later (for the greatest effect, do not remove your respirator when talking with him).

Be clear and firm! Don't be apologetic or defensive. Just stay "on message--this is not a good time to visit." And-- follow through with your promise to call him/stop over when you're done. At that time, explain nicely and politely why you aren't available to chat when you're working on the boat (e.g. need to concentrate, it's your time to unwind from work and you want to be alone, epoxy is expensive and time-critical, and that is not safe for young children, etc.) I bet that if the child's mother hears all about the dangers of breathing epoxy dust and about how the kid nearly poisoned herself with the epoxy stir stick one time when Daddy brought her over, SHE will put a stop to it. Tell her that whenever the kid has been exposed to sanding dust, that the kid needs to shower and change into clean clothes right away, and that what she had been wearing needs to be washed.

Being "neighborly" doesn't mean that you need to be a doormat! Being ready & willing to drop what you're doing to respond to an emergency is one thing.... but this is another. It will probably take a few times before he gets the idea.... but don't cave in! Even if you are at a point where you could take a break, say, "I'm not available to visit right now. Would it be okay for me to stop by in 15 minutes when I'm through with what I'm doing?" (You're trying to break him of the habit of dropping in unannounced and uninvited. While you're trying to break him of the habit of just dropping over *whenever* it may be better for you to offer to call him or go to HIS place when you're finished, rather than inviting him to come by later. If you go to his place, you've got control of when you take leave of him-- it's generally easier to go home than to get someone to go home).

Julie Kanarr

Messages In This Thread

Arrrrrg! Rant. How would you handle this?
Robb -- 5/10/2001, 9:18 pm
would a dog help? *NM*
mike allen ---> -- 5/11/2001, 11:49 am
Re: Arrrrrg! Same Dilemma
Spidey -- 5/11/2001, 1:17 am
Re: Arrrrrg! Same Dilemma
Julie Kanarr -- 5/11/2001, 9:48 am
Re: Arrrrrg! Rant. How would you handle this?
Julie Kanarr -- 5/11/2001, 12:38 am
Re: Arrrrrg! Rant. How would you handle this?
Rehd -- 5/11/2001, 1:24 am
Re: Arrrrrg! Rant. How would you handle this?
Nick Schade - Guillemot Kayaks -- 5/11/2001, 10:15 am
Re: hand him a catalog
LeeG -- 5/11/2001, 12:22 am
Re: Arrrrrg! Rant. How would you handle this?
Don Beale -- 5/10/2001, 11:58 pm
Get another respirator - an ugly one - for him :)
Paul G. Jacobson -- 5/10/2001, 11:28 pm
Re: Arrrrrg! Rant. How would you handle this?
daren neufeld -- 5/10/2001, 11:01 pm
Re: Bah, let's try again
Jim Pace -- 5/10/2001, 10:47 pm
Sheesh, Jim you scared me.
Robb -- 5/10/2001, 11:29 pm
Re: Sheesh, Jim you scared me.
Jim Pace -- 5/11/2001, 9:01 am
Re: Arrrrrg! Rant. How would you handle this?
Jim Pace -- 5/10/2001, 10:40 pm
Re: Arrrrrg! Rant. How would you handle this?
Dave M -- 5/10/2001, 9:39 pm